I have decided to watch the entire Buffy the Vampire Slayer series (and perhaps throw in Angel and Firefly as well, but I don't want to be overly ambitious) and blog about it. So. Here goes...
Last night I began with season 2 because I think it gets more into Buffy and the Scoobies' relationships and storylines more, with less standalone episodes. I think, to be true to my word, that tonight I'll start with the pilot episode. One must be consistent, after all.
But for now, it's "When She Was Bad," the first episode of the second season.
Buffy takes her inner bitch out for a walk after undergoing experiencing death...and living. As a result she refuses to allow herself the luxury of closeness when she is terrified of it happening again. The dying. The internalization of her distress results in the externalization of those less attractive qualities every person possesses: sarcasm, meanness, anger, and perhaps the worst of all, silence.
Her role as the Slayer, Buffy imagines, implies that she can't need anyone, can't share with anyone, can't rely on anyone, can't can't can't. It's a lie, of course, since her support network is waiting in the wings, eager to help her through any obstacle. But to admit vulnerability would be to admit that she is just that: vulnerable, an emotion that she already feels in a heightened way, complete with dreams and visions of the Master.
The problem is that Buffy thinks she is being strong by keeping everything stuffed inside and lashing out, but instead she is subconsciously giving the Master power by refusing to give her anxiety a name and a voice. In fact, she never truly divulges what is bothering her; Giles guesses only after discussing the situation with Xander and Willow.
It isn't until she crushes the Master's bones with a sledgehammer that Buffy is able to take control of the powerless feeling she's been dealing with. But after being forgiven (silently) by her friends, Buffy is slowly learning that to be a Slayer doesn't necessarily mean to be alone.
4 comments:
I just finished watching this episode and think you are spot on with your observations.
Also, Buffy's dance with Xander makes me feel awkward every time I watch it. It just seems so wrong!
Yes, I agree with you wholeheartedly about that dance. Ewwwwww. Poor Xander.
Also, I recently re-watched the first episode with Spike (Season 2, "School Hard"), at the end of which he says, "A slayer with family and friends. That sure as hell wasn't in the brochure." When I saw/heard that, I immediately thought of your post!
Do you ever see Buffy as being a bit melodramatic about being alone?
At times she is torn, in the first season I feel like she is always trying to have a "normal" life, but then, slowly, as she gives that up, she almost bigs to turn in the opposite direction and gets all caught up in the "can't rely, can't share" etc that you mentioned.
btw, so pumped you keep watching, it is hard to let go, I wish we were coming back to this class in the fall.
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