The song that she sings while walking through the graveyard- all the way through her choice, at the end, to let herself dance until she burns makes her out to be someone who feels totally alone and as given up. The whole part where she was actually going to dance until she died gets glossed over when people are talking about this episode. She is so numb to the world, so desperate to do anything to make herself "feel" that she is willing to not only "walk through the fire," but to also let it consume her.
This girl has come a long way from the cutie in mini-dresses who wanted to make friends her first year at Sunnydale High. I feel as though this numbness, this willingness to give herself up has come from her inability to connect, not to her group of friends, but to anyone outside the group who know all her secrets. Just in time for Valentines Day, let me do a romantic interpretation, and make you look back over the course of the show at all her failed romances. Most of them have gone down the tube because she, as the slayer, has to stand alone, has to be alone, and she fears dragging someone down with her.
I found myself becoming completely heartbroken for Buffy like I never have in any other episode. In a world full of big musical numbers and rousing group scenes, I have never seen someone depicted as so alone, so lost, and so disconnected. I greatly applaud Whedon for NOT making an ending where she finds her place amongst her friends, and reconnects to the group. Even though she is seen giving into her desire for Spike, no one watching is thinking that Buffy/Spike is the recipe for a happy ending. It is more like a consolation. In the same way that she seems essentially resigned to just try and get through life, her choice to reach out to Spike seems like just a girl wanting to not be alone anymore
