I am not a stranger to death. My father died when I was only 9. Fortunately, he was something of an absentee father, but that's probably just my inability to accept death. I realize that telling myself that he was a drunken loser is the only way I can deal with all the lost time I will never have. I remember my grandparents sobbing at the funeral, and I just didn't understand why I couldn't cry.
My Uncle Tommy died a few years ago. I was on a trip to Chincoteague and was pissed that his death meant we had to go home early. I really wanted to stop at the nice Border's across from the hotel and we were on the way there when my grandmother just had to call my Aunt Denise and stop me from buying some shiny books. I mean really, why did we have to rush home just because my grandfather's brother died? I essentially said as much to my grandfather. I realize that such abusive behavior is a defense mechanism to keep death at bay, just as my typically negative attitude is my way of alienating others so I don't get hurt. Does that make me a horrible person? Maybe, but at least I can accept that about myself.
In a way, I've never experienced real death. My father and my uncle were semi-close, but I didn't see them on a regular basis. It's a sad thing growing up with grandparents for parents. I know I will lose them, probably before I turn thirty. The only way I won't is if I die first, meaning my grandmother will have lost three children before she dies. Although I have a strong attachment to my real mother, I think of my grandmother as my mother. Merely thinking about the inevitability of her death makes me cry, and yet I'm so afraid I won't be able to when she dies.
Phew, after being such a Debbie Downer, I will cheer myself up with some miscellany-
- Tsk tsk, a Slayer should know how to do CPR; I couldn't help laughing when she broke her sternum
- It was strangely touching when Buffy smoothed her mom's skirt down
- The Dawn segment supplied enough dramatic irony for the entire season, they fake us out with her crying over some teenage bullshit, really?
- I felt like the show had really matured in "Hush," then we get 10 minutes of Dawn? I seriously hope Buffy doesn't do that on a regular basis. What is this, Degrassi? She even has her own Blue and Hazel
- Did Willow really just ask where Xander's hand went? And people wonder why I hate her
- I thought Willow was having a breakthrough when she realized how childish all her clothes were, but no such luck. Also, Anya finding the shirt was a bit much
- Anya was awesome, she's my new Cordelia. I really wasn't feeling anyone's grief until we got to her (Buffy and Dawn were so annoying). She really sold it, giving us the simplified child's perspective of death
- The episode felt like it was leaning toward some heaven, God something or other. When everyone's like, "Where, oh where has Joyce gone?" I felt like some religion was being forced on me, but I am hypersensitive to religious throat-shovage
- Vampire=dumb
- Where the hell was Spike? Yes, I know it happened during the day, but as I pointed out last time, light was coming through the windows and he was fine. He may have ruined the somber tone more than Anya's inappropriate humor, but they should've at least mentioned he couldn't be there because of blah blah blah. There also wasn't a lot of Giles, but at least he was there
2 comments:
First, I understand and relate to maintaining a certain emotional detachment when the subject of death rears its ugly head. That aside, I strongly agree that Anya was the one that seemed to break through and show a grief that made sense. By having here there to express the innocent, child-like questions that nearly everyone feels the need to ask (but in their adult "maturity and wisdom," won't) were posed, giving everyone pause ...
As for Spike, I have several ideas as to why he wasn't in the episode. The one most in the forefront of my thoughts is that he, as a vampire that is fairly accepted into the world of humans, the symbolism surrounding him would have been extremely obvious and difficult to get around comfortably. Also, the undead is represented by the vampire in the morgue, so Spike doesn't need to be there, per say... there are other thoughts, but they are posing a challenge to formulate.
I don't really get the character of Willow either. They present her as an academic but she acts/says things that are simple.
As for pushing a Christian/religious idea, I don't think they were going for that. I think the ending the silence to Dawn's questions, "Where did she go?" speaks loudly that we don't know what happens to Joyce.
Also, Anya's humor about people wanting to fix people's grief over death. The question, "What are we supposed to do?" before they go to the morgue rings true to me in this situations. Where there really is nothing one can do about death but still everyone in this episodes acts as if they need to do something. For example, wear the right sure or buy a thousand snacks from the vending machines. Friendly gestures but hollow in a fixes that Buffy is going to have to worry about. Like... you know, raising her younger sister.
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