OMG what should I wear to the morgue? Why I wanted to smack Willow in this part of the episode.

Firstly, let me say I'm probably being over-critical of the writers' choice to make this part of the episode. Willows desire to wear the perfect shirt to somehow comfort Buffy seemed sort of realistic and it was somewhat endearing. Little details like that can make character interesting.

The hyperbolic emphasis on shirt choice highlighted how grief can make mundane tasks such as picking out a shirt seem of monumental importance.

Still I could put it into a video of liberal, hippie propaganda as to why our culture is sooo damaged by consumerism. Your friends mom just died and you really are worried about what you are going to wear? Although it may have been an interesting detail, maybe a character like Cordelia would worry about something so shallow but not Willow. The trait of worrying about a shirt seems vapid to building on Willow's character. Who is supposed to be sincere and nerdy. Right? I may be over-simplifying though given Willow didn't respond to grief by going on a shopping spree.

This is just me nitpicking. After watching What Would Jesus Buy? (netflix link) last night made me think Willow's shirt fiasco. The movie is about Rev. Billy Talen and his choir traveling all over the country to deliver the message that the "Shopapocalypse" (over-spending at Christmas) must end. Rev. Billy seems a bit nutty, but I feel the overall message of the movie is positive. Nothing like a movie that highlights U.S. obsession with overspending on Christmas to make a girl want to rant about Buffy. I guess.

'Til death do us part

Death is always such a difficult topic to discuss, let alone face. Most people will face the death of a loved one at least once in their lives. As much as we are aware of this we are still unprepared when that time arrives. There are many different emotions that must be dealt with: Shock, denial, grief, devastation, anger. All emotions come at the right stage and at the right time for the person suffering the loss. Allowing these emotions to come freely in an atmosphere of non-judgement is crucial to moving forward. Remembering the loved one is how their spirit lives beyond the limitations of their physical body.

I believe that Joss Whedon did an excellent job covering all aspects of death in 'The Body'. He covered the affects of death from the beginning, when Buffy discovers the body of her mother, until the last scene when Dawn reaches out to touch her mother in the morgue. One moment that stuck out to me was when Buffy was on the phone with 9-1-1 and commented "She's cold" and the dispatcher asked "The body's cold?" and Buffy responded, "No, my mother". She was still her "mom" at that point. Then after rescue pronounced her dead and Giles arrived Buffy instructed him, "We're not supposed to move the body". It seemed the moment the words left her mouth she appeared shocked she had spoken them. I think the reality of what those words meant hit her hard because she knew then that what was left behind was not her "mom"... just her body.

Death affects every person in an individual, personal way. I love that Joss Whedon allowed each character in Buffy to express themselves individually in response to Joyce's death (ex//Xander punching a hole in the wall and Willow trying to find the right shirt to wear). Whedon displays successfully how life goes on around you even though it might feel as if it has stopped for you when a loved one dies. For me, this was a very depressing episode and one I don't think I'll ever have the desire to watch again.

Week 3: That's what Friends are For: The Stages of Grief in "The Body"

Anya: "I don't understand how this all happens. How we go through this. I mean, I knew her, and then she's -- there's just a body, and I don't understand why she just can't get back in it and not be dead anymore. It's stupid. It's mortal and stupid. And Xander's crying and not talking, and I was having fruit punch, and I thought, well, Joyce will never have fruit punch ever, and she'll never have eggs, or yawn or brush her hair, not ever, and no one will explain to me why!"

-- "The Body" 5.16

It is noteworthy than Anya, Buffy's most "emotionally challenged" character, delivers an astonishngly perfect summary of the sadness and confusion associated with Joyce's death.

Humanity is new to Anya, so she is certainly trying to process how Buffy's friends are reacting to Joyce's passing. For example, she doesn't understand the emotional and psychological reasons behind Willow continuing to change her clothes, but she wants to know why. However, Anya is actually not that far off emotionally from everyone for once; they're all disoriented, upset, and trying to cope. Anya is scolded by Willow for asking questions about the body that are too direct, which is typical for Anya to do, but I believe she is trying to maintain her own sense of normalcy as well. With her speech come tears and sincere emotions about her anger over death, and how she finally knows what it's like to be hurt by death's ripple effect and the uncertainty it creates.

Anya's speech articulates what Buffy can't since she is in a state of shock. Additionally, the other characters express/perform some of the various stages of grief for Buffy:

1) Denial = Dawn doesn't believe Buffy when she tells her the news at school.

2) Anger = Xander punches the wall and blames Glory (the demon) and doctors.

3) Bargaining = Willow changes clothes several times to stall time before they go see Buffy at the morgue.

4) Depression = Anya's teary speech and sense hopelessness.

5) Acceptance = Tara talks with Buffy at the hospital about death. Buffy asks about Tara's mother's death, "Was it sudden?" to which Tara replies, "It always is." Tara also elaborates how death is different for everyone and it's never easy.

Buffy's friends literally help her cope by functioning as various stages of grief. As Xander says: "We'll help. That's what we do. We help Buffy."