Anya: "I don't understand how this all happens. How we go through this. I mean, I knew her, and then she's -- there's just a body, and I don't understand why she just can't get back in it and not be dead anymore. It's stupid. It's mortal and stupid. And Xander's crying and not talking, and I was having fruit punch, and I thought, well, Joyce will never have fruit punch ever, and she'll never have eggs, or yawn or brush her hair, not ever, and no one will explain to me why!" Humanity is new to Anya, so she is certainly trying to process how Buffy's friends are reacting to Joyce's passing. For example, she doesn't understand the emotional and psychological reasons behind Willow continuing to change her clothes, but she wants to know why. However, Anya is actually not that far off emotionally from everyone for once; they're all disoriented, upset, and trying to cope. Anya is scolded by Willow for asking questions about the body that are too direct, which is typical for Anya to do, but I believe she is trying to maintain her own sense of normalcy as well. With her speech come tears and sincere emotions about her anger over death, and how she finally knows what it's like to be hurt by death's ripple effect and the uncertainty it creates.
Anya's speech articulates what Buffy can't since she is in a state of shock. Additionally, the other characters express/perform some of the various stages of grief for Buffy:
1) Denial = Dawn doesn't believe Buffy when she tells her the news at school.
2) Anger = Xander punches the wall and blames Glory (the demon) and doctors.
3) Bargaining = Willow changes clothes several times to stall time before they go see Buffy at the morgue.
4) Depression = Anya's teary speech and sense hopelessness.
5) Acceptance = Tara talks with Buffy at the hospital about death. Buffy asks about Tara's mother's death, "Was it sudden?" to which Tara replies, "It always is." Tara also elaborates how death is different for everyone and it's never easy.
Buffy's friends literally help her cope by functioning as various stages of grief. As Xander says: "We'll help. That's what we do. We help Buffy."
6 comments:
Being a psych major, when we were watching this episode I was thinking about the stages of grief in terms of Buffy. However, it never occured to me that her friends each represented on of the stages of grief. I can definitly see it now and Whedon keeps impressing me with his writing of the episodes.
Anya asked questions that alot of people wonder about but feel it's inappropriate to ask. Perhaps Whedon's intention was simply just to show how people react differently to death and how life goes on afterwards. Simplicity sometimes can pack the bigger punch.
Absolutely! With something so sad and difficult to understand, the simplicity is almost necessary. Anya seems to become "human" within moments. She starts with her typical overly direct questions and becomes more emotional and poignant.I really appreciated how Anya finally delivered true emotional merit in her character so she isn't just the ex-demon who says funny things (although she definitely does)!
And I agree; I think Whedon really committed to making the episode as true to life (or death!) as possible -- which is pretty awesome for a "fantasy" show.
Anya gets a bad rap sometimes for being clueless and annoying. I find her hilarious, but I can be pretty literal, so I guess that's why I relate. I think Whedon uses her to assess societal conventions and why exactly we do the things we do, which receives prominence in this episode.
Anya is honest, and her struggle to interpret new-found feelings that are not black and white is poignant and endearing.
I also noticed that each character was coping in a different way, but I hadn't assigned the stages of grief. Willow's bargaining is especially thoughtful, because I wouldn't have seen it unless you said that. Also, nice picture, the episode in a nutshell.
Oh and by the way...I love this post. So perceptive.
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