When I was 12/13 watching this show I did it in the privacy of my own living room, snuck while my mom was in the shower, or making dinner loudly in the kitchen. Watching it now with a room full of people, it's not that I feel judged, I just feel...different. I feel like the older kid in the back of the room who would be making fun of 13 year old me who was sitting, eyes glued to the TV, loving Buffy.
I have a lot of guilty pleasure TV, I still love and adore the three season WB show Roswell. I watch Charmed re-runs for more than Eric Dane, and I am a faithful weekly viewer of Gossip Girl. I watched Roswell monday nights on the WB with my mom, and then I watched it after Buffy tuesday nights on the UPN, still with my mom, once I had finally talked her out of believing that teen TV shows inspired me to sin, but besides that, I've only ever watched my shows with other really close friends who I already know loved the show.
It is not at all that I feel like I am judged for liking shows like Buffy, Roswell, or Charmed. I've just started to feel like I don't know how to relate what I like and what I dislike to a public forum.
3 comments:
I can relate with your "feeling" after watching Buffy in front of a classroom. I found myself wondering if I should still be this entertained by a show I watched avidly in my tweens.
This is an interesting point about public vs private viewing.
Personally, I would much rather watch an episode privately and then talk about it in class. What if it is my favorite episode and people, heaven forbid, SCORN it? Bah!
We attach strangely emotional feelings to television shows and movies -- all for what? Are we too "cool" to say that we enjoy these shows in a public setting?
Peer pressure is unfortunate.
I can understand the difficulty of feeling a schism between your old self and your current self's relationship with Buffy. I've been thinking about that too when we have watched episodes in class. After seeing the clunky "Surprise," I was afraid that the show I adored and that had had such an impact on me now looked like a toy I keep around but no longer play with.
Perhaps I must be content with viewing Buffy through a different lens instead of trying to get back to the same feeling i had years ago. I won't have it again, so I should lay it to rest and embrace a different, more mature perspective...whatever that may be. I don't know yet, haha. Just a thought.
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